"The Gripping Tale of a Schizophrenic's Quest for the Ultimate Orgasm"

Well I'm going to try to post a short review for any Oscar-contending movie I get to see. Hopefully before the award ceremony. So I begin today with:

Black Swan

"The gripping tale of a schizophrenic's quest for the ultimate orgasm." I just don't know how else to tagline this movie.

Portman is transcendent in this deeply psychological role. I don't see her losing the Best Actress Oscar. And Mila Kunis holds her own -- and some of Portman's -- in a deftly turned supporting performance. The music is beautiful, as would be expected, and the film gives you a greater respect for ballerinas as expert craftswomen. At least, it did for me.

The story itself seems more a lattice upon which the performances flourish like ivy, as opposed to the characters driving a strong, riveting story. This may be a disappointment to some who desire a more traditional three-act story with a clear resolution.

And one last thought. Kudos to Winona Rider for her particularly dark, near-cameo turn as a past-her-prime prima ballerina. Quite riveting.

My Verdict: Three and a half Stars

See All My Reviews Here

Joba. WTF. (The "F" is for "Fat")

Imma just leave this here.
I refer you to the background picture I use on this blog.

Interesting Quotes I’ve Collected

Originally posted on, and amended since May 1, 2007
(This is one of my aforementioned ex-MySpace essentials.)

Check me out on QuotesDaddy here.

"Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art."
- Tom Stoppard ..

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
- Isaac Asimov ..

"People want economy and they will pay any price to get it."
- Lee Iacocca ..

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
- Rabbi Julius Gordon ..

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
- Samuel Butler ..

"Women should be obscene and not heard."
- Groucho Marx ..
 
"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging."
- Joe Martin ..

"I'm here to regulate funkiness." - Leroy, in "The Mexican"

"Elllll-Camino!" - Jerry, in "The Mexican"

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." - Victor Hugo

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
- Dan Quayle ..

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
- James Thurber ..

"Love and eggs are best when they are fresh". Russian proverb

Adventure is just bad planning.
- Roald Amundsen ..

"To him she seemed so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell" - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
- Douglas Adams ..

It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- John Andrew Holmes ..

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
- Ronald Reagan ..

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
- David T. Wolf ..

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde ..

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
- William Shakespeare ..

"It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it." Christian Nestell Bovee

"Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are." Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist

Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
- Cullen Hightower ..

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
- Thomas Szasz ..

Silence is the virtue of fools.
- Sir Francis Bacon ..

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love" - Neil Gaiman

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.
- Wernher von Braun ..

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."
- George W. Bush January 29, 2001 Washington, D.C.  ..

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
- Peter Ustinov ..

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- George W. Bush August 17, 1993 Comment made to ABC's Sam Donaldson.  ..

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
  - Evan Esar

It is bad luck to be superstitious.
  - Andrew W. Mathis

Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point during the story I could stop, and ask, Now do you want the hero to be kidnapped, or not? But that would, of course, have ruined the story. Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.
- Penn Jillette ..

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery ..

No good deed goes unpunished.
- Clare Booth Luce ..

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love". Albert Einstein

"Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not." - Albert Einstein

"To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself." - Albert Einstein

"Think for yourself and question authority." - Timothy Leary

"These are not the droids you're looking for." -Obi-Wan Kenobi

"All you gotta do is to use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows how to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's code written in their DNA, says "Tackle the gazelle." Believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says "Tackle drunk bitches."" - Jay, in The 40 Year Old Virgin

"Mostly, I remember the nights when we were together. I remember how you used to hold me and... how I used to sit on your face and wiggle and—" - Elaine, in Airplane!

No human thing is of serious importance.
  - Plato

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
  - Michael Pritchard

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
  - Robert Orben
 
"i told u i was hardcore" - Brandon Vedas

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." --Ernest Hemingway

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--Tee Mans

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
  - De La Lastra's Law

There's an old intelligence saying that "once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, but three times is enemy action."

"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something."
- Gil Scott-Heron, jazz musician

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
  - PJ O'Rourke

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. - Unknown

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon."  --Comedian Chris Rock

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
  - Mitch Hedberg

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
  - Philip K. Dick

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it.
  - Upton Sinclair

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive.
  - Thomas Jefferson

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
  - Rita Mae Brown

All the world's a cage.
  - Jeanne Phillips

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check.
-- M. C. Escher

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
  - Robert Anton Wilson

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  - An English Professor

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.
  - Dwight D. Eisenhower

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
  - William Jennings Bryan

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.
  - Lord Acton

I got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "NO." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "NO" to! Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? LIAR! My fan fuckin' lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't saying shit...  -- Mitch Hedburgh

"I start things, but I never" -D. Stahl

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
  - Ellen DeGeneres

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.  -- Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.  -- Albert Einstein

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. -- Albert Einstein

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. (Letter to Harry S. Truman) -- Albert Einstein

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.  -- Albert Einstein

Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination.  -- Albert Einstein

I want to know how God created this world. I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details. -- Albert Einstein

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.  -- Albert Einstein

What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.  -- Albert Einstein

To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself.  -- Albert Einstein

No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.  -- Albert einstein

As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.  -- Albert Einstein

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.  -- Albert Einstein

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.  -- Albert Einstein

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.  -- Albert Einstein

As a child, I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene.  -- Albert Einstein

Quantum mechanics is certainly imposing. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. The theory says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the secret of the Old One. I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice.  -- Albert Einstein

I believe in Spinoza's God, Who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world, not in a God Who concerns Himself with the fate and the doings of mankind.   -- Albert Einstein

To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.  -- Sun Tzu

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.  -- Sun Tzu

If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him.  -- Sun Tzu

There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.  -- Sun Tzu

If you are going through hell, keep going.  -- Winston Churchill

Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.  -- Winston Churchill

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.  -- Winston Churchill

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.  -- Winston Churchill

I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared to meet me is entirely another matter.  -- Winston Churchill

I hate nobody except Hitler — and that is professional.  -- Winston Churchill

If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.  -- Winston Churchill

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.  -- Winston Churchill

The further back I look, the further forward I can see.  -- Winston Churchill

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.  -- Winston Churchill

The very first thing the President did was to show me the new Presidential Seal, which he had just redesigned. He explained, 'The seal has to go everywhere the President goes. It must be displayed upon the lectern when he speaks. The eagle used to face the arrows but I have re-designed it so that it now faces the olive branches… what do you think?' I said, 'Mr. President, with the greatest respect, I would prefer the American eagle's neck to be on a swivel so that it could face the olive branches or the arrows, as the occasion might demand.'  (Exchange with Harry S. Truman)  -- Winston Churchill

I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

Speak only if it improves upon the silence.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

There are many causes I would die for. There is not a single cause I would kill for.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

There is no way to peace; peace is the way.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

Even If I am a minority of one, truth is still the truth.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

Use truth as your anvil, nonviolence as your hammer and anything that does not stand the test when it is brought to the anvil of truth and hammered with nonviolence, reject it.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

The spirit of democracy cannot be imposed from without. It has to come from within.  -- Mohandas Gandhi

He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.  -- Socrates

I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.  -- Socrates

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.  -- Socrates

Get not your friends by bare compliments, but by giving them sensible tokens of your love.  -- Socrates

Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others.  -- Socrates

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.  -- Socrates

Just remember……..if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.  -- Unknown

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.  -- Unknown

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.  -- George F. Will

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen.  -- Bob Lemon, 1981

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.  -- Rogers Hornsby

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.  -- Gerald Early

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in t he summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.  -- A. Bartlett Giamatti

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.  -- Humphrey Bogart

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.  -- Bill Veeck

No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one-third of your games. No matter how bad you are, you're going to win one-third of your games. It's the other third that makes the difference.  -- Tommy Lasorda

I don't know why people like the home run so much. A home run is over as soon as it starts.... The triple is the most exciting play of the game. A triple is like meeting a woman who excites you, spending the evening talking and getting more excited, then taking her home. It drags on and on. You're never sure how it's going to turn out.  -- George Foster, 1978

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, trees, mushrooms and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.  -- Ron Shelton, Bull Durham, 1988

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.  -- Bill Veeck

The greatest feeling in the world is to win a major league game. The second-greatest feeling is to lose a major league game.  -- Chuck Tanner

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  -- Oscar Wilde

To me old age is always fifteen years older than I am.  -- Bernard Baruch

The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.  -- Ralph W. Sockman

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.  -- Henry David Thoreau

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.  -- James Thurber

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.  -- Joseph Stalin

In order to invent the airplane you must have at least a thousand years' experience dreaming of angels.  -- Arnold Rockman

We must avoid duplication of effort, because that is being done by others.  -- Arthur Mitchell

To attack a man for talking nonsense is like finding your mortal enemy drowning in a swamp and jumping in after him with a knife.  -- Sir Karl Popper

I regret that I will never know the results of my own autopsy.  -- Bill Cheswick

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.  -- Mark Twain

A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.  -- Thomas Carruthers

Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire.  -- W. B. Yeats

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.  -- Abraham Maslow

There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people.  -- Thomas Jefferson

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.  -- Nikita Khrushchev

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. -- Sydney J. Harris

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. -- Stephen Hawking

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. -- Steve Wozniak

Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020. -- Ray Kurzweil

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. -- Sydney J. Harris

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. -- Clifford Stoll

Everyone has photographic memory.  Some just don't have film.  -- Steven Wright

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.  -- Steven Wright

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism -- to steal from many is research.  -- Steven Wright

A fool and his money are soon partying.  -- Steven Wright

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.  -- Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.  -- Steven Wright

You can tell a clever man by his answers, you can tell a man is wise by his questions -- Naguib Mafouz

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.  -- Thomas Jefferson

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.  -- Ronald Reagan

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.  -- George Washington

I am, therefore I'll think - Ayn Rand
   
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.  -- Buddha

What we think, we become.  -- Buddha

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.  -- Buddha

It is better to travel well than to arrive.  -- Buddha

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.  -- Buddha

He is able who thinks he is able.  -- Buddha

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun."  Great, no one does.  But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?  -- Unknown

Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in... (10 second lapse) ..ummm ...Goonies"  -- Unknown

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?  -- Unknown

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.  -- Unknown

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  -- Unknown

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.  -- Unknown

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.  -- Unknown

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  -- Unknown

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. -- Alfred Hitchcock

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.  -- Robert Benchley

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.  -- Ambrose Bierce

What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?  -- Henry David Thoreau

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image  -- Stephen Hawking

I get the ball, I throw the ball, and then I take a shower.  -- Mariano Rivera

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.  -- Joe E. Lewis

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.  -- Diogenes

At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religous or political ideas.  -- Aldous Huxley
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.  -- Quentin Crisp
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.  -- David Russell

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  -- Mark Twain

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.  -- Oscar Wilde
In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.  -- Bertrand Russell

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.  -- Glaser and Way

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.  -- Christopher Marlowe

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.  -- Emo Philips

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.  -- Yogi Berra

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.  -- George Best

I'm a little upset with the athletes today. People holding out, baseball players using steroids -- what the hell is that? Using steroids, man, that ain't nothing like the old school. Remember the old school guys? These guys were men. Babe Ruth hit over 700 home runs after, like, banging hookers all night.  -- Bret Ernst

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.  -- Sir Francis Bacon

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.  -- Bill Clinton

Trying to get a drunk girl to finish [orgasm] is like trying to take a drunk girl home when she can't remember where she lives. She's like, 'That's not it, that's not it, that's not it.'  -- Julian McCullough

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.  -- Bob Hope

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.  -- Fred Allen

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.  -- Sidney J. Harris

Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us.  -- Henrik Tikkanen

The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.  -- Ronald Reagan

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.  -- Al Capone

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.  --  Peter De Vries

I'm from Long Island, which is the least respected place in the world. I travel all over the country. I could be in the middle of Omaha doing something and the guy comes up to me and says, 'Hey, where'd you grow up?' I'm like, 'Long Island.' And he's like, 'Loser.' Really? I grew up 22 miles from Manhattan; you lost your virginity to corn. I feel like I win that round. I'm like, 'I've seen the ocean. Game over.'  -- Rory Albanese

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.  -- Mitch Hedberg

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.  -- George F. Will

Reality continues to ruin my life.  -- Bill Watterson

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.  -- Frank Zappa

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.  -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.  -- Jose Simon

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.  -- Elbert Hubbard

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.  -- Friedrich Nietzsche

People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.  -- Abraham Lincoln

Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.  -- Italian Proverb

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.  -- Robert X. Cringley

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.  -- Woody Allen

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.  -- Anatole France

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.  -- Issac Asimov

The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.  -- G.K. Chesterton

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.  -- Bertrand Russell

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.  -- Carl Sagan

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.  -- Gertrude Stein

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.  -- Hermann Hesse

There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.  -- Cicero

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.  -- Glaser and Way

Have faith in the Yankees, my son.  -- Ernest Hemingway in The Old Man and the Sea (1952)

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.  -- Esther Dyson

Me, In a Nutshell

(Click here to see my interests)

Well here we go. Millions of people across the earth have blogs that go unread on a regular basis.  Here's one more.  If it's any consolation to you, I don't see myself blogging much so don't worry about having to check in on a lot of updates.

I needed a stable landing site for some essentials I wanted to exodus from the MySpace page I'm about to decommission, seeing as how I haven't used MySpace in a couple of years and I doubt it'll be there much longer anyway.  So I figured why not Blogger?  I don't think Google's going anywhere soon.  Also it took me like seventeen seconds to get the blog up and running so why not?

Another thing I figured I'd need is a better "About Me" page for my Twitter account.  Yes I use twitter; no I never thought I would.  But I find it keeps me... i dunno... intellectually stimulated in a strange way.  There's a small group of people I follow -- some "famous," some not -- and I find myself replying to and retweeting much of it.

The trick is in what you add to the tweet, and how creative, witty, insightful, shocking, what have you, in those 140 characters.  The better able you are to do that, the more stimulating it can be.  Here's the strange part, at least in my case: I don't particularly care if they ever get read.  Of course, I like when people comment back with an LOL or WTF, etc., but I find that I will go back over my own tweets from time to time.  Because I liked them.  Its a lot like my photography.

Anyhow, throughout history there have been many people far more eloquent than myself.  And I like quotes.  So what follows is a list of quotations most core to my... philosophy? ...heart?  ...soul?  Something.  Even the order I have them in is important to me.  So if you're interested in knowing a bit about me, this way to the Great Egress:


What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on? -- Henry David Thoreau

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. -- Rabbi Julius Gordon

Speak only if it improves upon the silence. -- Mohandas Gandhi

In the fight between you and the world, back the world. -- Frank Zappa

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. -- David T. Wolf

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. -- George F. Will
 
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. -- George Carlin
 
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. -- Arthur Schopenhauer

Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not. -- Albert Einstein

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin

No matter what I talk about, I always get back to baseball. -- Connie Mack

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -- Albert Einstein

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. -- Buddha

To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy. -- Sun Tzu

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -- Albert Einstein

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. -- Philip K. Dick

No human thing is of serious importance. -- Plato